#1 - AVOIDING BURNOUT THROUGH SELF FORGIVENESS

As far as I’m concerned we’re in it. We’re off the cliff.
It seems like overnight the world has crossed yet another Rubicon. The song of Collapse has modulated up a full key. We don’t know yet how many more modulations will come or what they will bring with them. It’s like entering ever-deeper circles of Dante’s Hell, without knowing how many circles still remain, how many more Rubicons have to be crossed before we will be able to say, “It’s over.”
I know that the energy levels are increasing inside me as I try my best to do the work that has been given to me. I must learn, however imperfectly, to release more energy, more quickly… so that I can contain it for a moment as it comes in increasing volume and intensity and still function. The primary obstacle to that is my own ego, my sense of self. It is ego, which is always the primary obstacle to release.
In three decades of spiritual work I have learned that as I grow more frightened my vision constricts to tunnel vision… with me at the center…. terrified. We all recognize it. Spiritual practice (of any kind) is always a path towards prying that tunnel vision open to provide a little breathing room. One of my very first spiritual teachers looked at me one day as I tried to make him understand how desperately my heart and soul wanted a connection to Spirit so I could get some relief.
I needed him to understand the depth of my hunger… He wanted me to see what it was keeping me from being fed.
He said, “Son, if you’re hungry for God, and you get out of your own way, you’re going to get fed.” Getting out of my own way has since been my primary objective. But how does one  do that? One starts by accepting a truth about how humans have interacted with the world in the Old Paradigm. Since the day when we internalized the erroneous notion that humans have dominion over the universe instead of being a part of it, this has become became part of the baggage we carry.
A short time later, Spirit reinforced the message with a loving rebuke from another teacher. “Your problem is not that you think highly of yourself. Your problem is not that you think lowly of yourself. Your problem is that you think constantly of yourself.”
Ugh! How rude!
Another one of my early spiritual teachers continually drilled me in the following two precepts, which are largely unknown to those living solely in a world that is dying without starting to move into the one that is being born.
One must be willing to do something poorly in order to learn how to do it well.
You will progress many times faster in your growth if you can internalize the concept of change without punishment… Change without punishment. In other words, forgive yourself frequently.
It’s like whipping out an eraser and fixing your mistake in a column of numbers and then moving on. All of the energy involved in beating oneself up for being less than perfect, or being unable to fix things is saved for better uses.
Having followed a warrior’s path most of my life, I understand that the warrior works a fine balance between containing energies to build his or her internal power and releasing energies to keep from exploding, breaking down or causing harm. In the warrior’s code, honor dictates that the release of energy not harm friends, allies or the innocent. It is never OK to feel better at someone else’s expense if relief is what you seek. For a true warrior this precept is of maximum importance.  It is a matter of honor. For without his/her honor a warrior has no strength and will have no endurance for the long haul.
Journaling has helped me manage internal energies. So also has utterly open and vulnerable discourse with a trusted confidant(s) where one’s deepest fears and vulnerabilities are exposed, acknowledged and embraced in a sacred and safe place.
I had intended to start writing a series of regular missives reflecting my (and our) experiences at Collapsenet and in Sebastopol as I gratefully sink deeper into the rhythms of Mother Earth. I originally intended to focus just on easy lessons and not inject realities of the outside world. I wanted to actually be calm while writing about the importance of staying calm. But that isn’t the way the world works is it?
Every time I sat down to write about the importance of staying calm and balanced it seemed that something new hit the inbox energizing me in the opposite direction.
Compartmentalization is a coping skill that works for some but experience has also taught me that it can lead to fragmentation. One of my favorite concepts by the legendary Henry Miller is “the fragmentation of maturity”.
Compartmentalization is often essential in the short term, but debilitating when too much gets filed in the “To Do” pile. Internal housecleaning and maintenance is a one-day-at-a-time, and sometimes a one-hour-at-a-time necessity.
RUDE INTERRUPTIONS
Here are a few of the stories from our World News Desk that I had to ingest and try to digest as I was trying to formulate these thoughts and put them down… calmly. I have included my own comments as they appeared on the World News Desk. I remember hearing my ego whine, “Can’t this shit lighten up for a minute? I’m trying to write about staying calm here!”
Job cuts at major banks intensify: IFR, July 4^th, 2011

"After more than two years of hiring and robust activity, some are now predicting the biggest investment banking lay-offs since the credit crisis, as managers pare back their headcounts in preparation for what many see as a possible prolonged slump in activity.

"Credit Suisse, Goldman Sachs, Lloyds and RBS have been the first to move, slashing hundreds of banker positions in recent days. But the consensus seems to be growing within the industry that more banks will soon follow as falling revenues make cost-cutting more urgent."

There could be no surer sign that we are approaching the end game. Banks start downsizing and eating themselves when there's no more to be squeezed out anywhere. They see it coming too. A caveman could see it. – MCR

Banks cutting principal on some mortgages: report, July 4^th, 2011

"Bank of America Corp and JPMorgan Chase & Co have started modifying tens of thousands of mortgages where the banks deem the loans especially risky, even if the borrowers have not asked, the New York Times reported on Sunday."

These sudden Christmas gifts are appearing all over the place. We caught them. Banks are just cutting the principal on mortgages by as much as half. It’s happening to people who are not in default. They’re just underwater. – Banks NEVER do this, unless it’s the only thing they can do to stay afloat… for a little while longer.

-- It just can’t get any clearer than this. Things are going to turn inside out in a very short time frame. More stories are showing across-the-board worries about corporate earnings reports, just as I predicted. I feel the weight of collapse, but I welcome and greet it. -- MCR

The well-known Flight or Fight response is evolved from millions of years of evolution wherein an immediate short-term threat evokes an instant, fast-burning and all-consuming use of energy… to run or fight in a frenzy, unrestrained by any thought of future consequences… because there won’t be any future if the current threat isn’t dealt with. That is entirely appropriate when being pursued by a leopard, or a bear, or someone with a gun. It is not appropriate, however, when the mortal threat will be a sustained and rapidly-changing flow of events that might have mortal consequences and risks over days or years. (It is called life.)
In fact, with all of my exposure to military and law enforcement operations; with having been a Los Angeles street cop involved in two shootings; and with having served on staff at the Los Angeles Police Academy in the late 1970s; I can say that one of the most-important and most–intended parts of all training and drill is to prevent the trainee from “losing it” and going into a frenzied or panicked state. Because everything that flows from that place is usually not helpful to anybody. For good reason those unable to “contain” or appropriately channel what they’re feeling are usually the first to be weeded out.
Nature is much more effective, unforgiving and decisive about this culling. In nature a panicked, thrashing animal always attracts the attention of predators because predators instinctively understand that an animal in that state will burn out very quickly.
Lunch!
Yet we still must have places to thrash out energies that overwhelm and limit us.
As I was being trained as a cop by combat veterans from Vietnam, it was this ability “to contain until safe” that was probably the one skill I sought and needed most. Adrenaline rushes are one thing. However, to constantly live on adrenaline is deadly.
Establishing a pace, monitoring that pace, and adjusting it as needed is perhaps the greatest emotional survival skill I have developed. That requires self-discipline.
My rhythms are changing as I surrender to the needs and timing of our garden. Rather than trying to get even more edibles in the ground, we are preparing now for the small harvests that the garden itself is telling us need to happen starting right now. We are planning our winter garden so there will be things to harvest between November and February. We are forced to accept that we have done all that we can and now must start to flow with, listen to and learn from the rhythms and cycles of the land where we live.
Ultimately, we are thinking about how best to prepare ourselves, not for this winter, but for the winter of 2012-13. That will be, I think, the biggest challenge for us all. And so, instead of being frenzied about how much more we could be doing in this moment, I realize with great gratitude that we are that much faster than the slowest campers and I am deeply grateful.

I have enough to eat today.

I am healthy today.

I have clean clothes today.

I have a place to sleep today.

I have a car and a full tank of gasoline today.

I have a phone and a computer today.

I have a few dollars today.

I can take a shower in hot water today.

I have friends today.

I have the wonderful people at Collapsenet today.

Today is a very good day.

Rest is a weapon. Use it.

http://www.collapsenet.com/component/k2/item/1216-reflections-on-collapse-#1-avoiding-burnout-through-self-forgiveness&Itemid=324